The Invisible Hiatus (And How I Learned to Let Go)

Hello sweeties,

on this very day, this space was meant to host a review. I had a precise book in mind, and I even reread it in order to be able to make it justice - to say the right things in the right way. I had this review appointed for weeks. I tried to make it happen for a couple ones at least (that was around mid-March). I went as far as to write the Pros and Cons sections...but then, I finally realised something - I wasn't feeling it. At first I didn't worry, because it's something that happens to me from time to time - even with 5 or 4 star books. Sometimes I have to give myself a kick in the butt in order to get moving...and then, lo and behold! the words flow and the review is done in a few hours and it's even kind of awesome. But this time, the more I kept procrastinating and moving said review further and further down my schedule, the more I hated the thought of having to write it. As I said, it wasn't the book - it was me. It got to the point where it was messing with my whole schedule - other posts that I couldn't or didn't want to cancel/move for any given reason. I had all the time in the world for writing that review, and suddenly, I had none left. Unless I wanted to force it out of my brain (damaging the book), and work around the clock, and postpone reading my new books because of it. That's when I finally drew the line.

You see, I'd been trying to be on top of my game, since it had worked so well in the past year. I was fixated with having a post for every week of the year. I had posts scheduled through the whole month of May (mostly unwritten, only appointed - but still)...and here I wasn't able to write the last one I needed for April (if you don't count a cover reveal that might or might not happen at the very end of the month, depending on one of "my" authors' plans). I kept telling myself that I only needed to brave out for a couple of weeks, and then I could enjoy a hiatus and finish the books from my latest haul. Until I finally realised I needed that hiatus to happen AT ONCE. Or better - I was up to writing my last two TMST posts for May, and finishing my fourth Rehabilitating YA installment (scheduled for the same month), because they didn't involve a lot of brain-racking. But after that, I didn't want to have to think about reviews for at least three weeks, maybe a month (except for the Goodreads mini-reviews for my new books). So, I might or might not have a full review up in the second half of May, but I don't want to have to worry about that before mid-month. I already have a round of mini-reviews scheduled for May as well (since I just copied and pasted them from my Goodreads account), and my Rehabilitating YA series is, indeed, like another one of them, so no sweat. But I'm not getting involved in writing a full review for another month or so. And I have nothing scheduled/appointed for June (except for a TMST post), but I don't want to even think about that now. (OK - I'm positive I will, after I've enjoyed a bit of free time and rest. Just NOT NOW). What if I need more time to recharge myself and I have to sit June out as well? And assuming I do - so what?!?

I still think that schedules are heaven's gift to mankind, at least for me. I rest my case that I wouldn't be where I am now, blog-wise, if it weren't for them. It's just that I haven't winged it for a whole year now, and I ended up putting too much stuff on my plate, and it's also messing with my everyday life (as in, I'm getting nothing done in terms of housekeeping). So...I just need to let go for a while. You probably won't even notice that I'm gone, because as I said, I do have posts scheduled throughout May. Only, not the kind of posts I had in mind. For instance, I wanted to review Challenger Deep by Neal Shusterman for Mental Health Month (May), but what the heck - I'll get to it when I'll get to it. So, I just wanted you to know that the queen of schedules is human, and that I hear you if you're feeling like I am now (or you ever have, or will), and you know? even writing this is liberating. At the back of my mind, I knew that a time like this would probably come, sooner or later, but I kept pushing the thought aside. I know most of you have been through this already. To everyone who manages to post 4, 5 times a week on top of their job/studies and/or family, you rock. To everyone who struggles to put forth a post a week, you rock. To everyone who has to take a week, a month, six months off to get back on track and find joy in blogging again, you rock. We are all awesome. Don't you ever let anyone make you doubt it - least of all yourselves 😘.

(Oh, and I hope to use my invisible hiatus to visit more blogs and interact with you more! Another bonus point. What good is blogging if you're doing it into a void?).

And finally, here are the posts you will find on Offbeat YA from now until the end of May...

• April 20th: Rehabilitating YA: 20 Trope-Free Standalones/Series to Read if You've Given Up on It (Pt.3)
• April 27th (?): surprise cover reveal (probably)
• May 1st: Review Morsels #12
• May 7th: TMST: Why Do You Like to Read Book Reviews?
• May 14th: TMST: Do You Prefer Action-Driven Books or Quiet Books?
• May 19th (?): ...that elusive review (maybe)
• May 24th: Rehabilitating YA: 20 Trope-Free Standalones/Series to Read if You've Given Up on It (Pt.4)
• May 28th: TMST: Who Are Some of Your Favorite Authors?

And now I'm just going to enjoy my invisible hiatus. SO REFRESHING.