February 06, 2018

From Comment-Γ‡a-Va to No-Comment: When Does a Post Make You Talk?

Hello sweeties!

After ten whole months (and a half! let's not forget the half!), I've finally come up with a discussion post idea πŸ˜…. Nothing fancy, and probably nothing new - but I suppose it's not easy to create fresh content when it comes to blog features/discussions. (Oh, BTW...it was even harder to come up with a "clever" title than with the actual post πŸ˜‚). Anyway, a few weeks ago, I started wondering why certain blogs, though far more successful than mine in terms of followers - and often able to offer ARC reviews for books far more hyped than the ones I feature - get even less comments than mine, especially in proportion (again, see: massive number of followers, that is, potential commenters). And lately, I have been musing on my own attitude when it comes to commenting on other people's posts. Quite by magic (ooooh!), these two trails of thought met and produced a discussion post idea. I should probably think more often πŸ˜‚.


So, in short, I've been asking myself - what prompts us to comment on a blog? and what, instead, prevents us from doing it?

Here is a short list of both my turn-ons and turn-offs when it comes to leaving a comment on a blog post. And of course, I'm dying to know yours! (Side note: you don't have to write down a whole list yourselves, really...unless you want to πŸ˜‰).

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--------------Turn-Ons--------------

1) The blog owner is a close friend of mine (virtually, of course...because all my blogging friends live whole states away from me...), and I do my best to find the time to comment because a) I like chatting with them; b) I genuinely like their style, and what they have to say in that particular post; c) I want them to know that they're loved and valued.

2) The post is super-interesting (duh), and I want to compliment its author - or/and I happen to have something to say on the matter.

3) The post is a review (I don't particularly care if it's of an ARC or not) that is up my alley because a) I've read the book in question; b) the book is on my TBR list; c) the book is a new-to-me title, but the blurb sounds interesting, so I'm curious to know if it worked for the blogger, and if it can work for me. YES, I READ REVIEWS. LOL.

4) The blogger talks about Doctor Who their personal life. I'm more likely to respond if there's a personal touch in your post - though of course you don't need to overshare if you don't want to. Bonus points if you mention Doctor Who 😜 have a sense of humour.

5) The blogger is going on a hiatus/back from a hiatus. I feel like it's my mission to let them know that I'm having their back, or that I'm happy to see them again (plus I want to know what they've cooked/are cooking up now that they're blogging again).

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--------------Turn-Offs--------------

1) Even if the blogger is a friend of mine, the post is about something I'm not particularly drawn to (like for instance, romance novels, comics or gaming). If I do have the time, I may read the post nevertheless, but what with being out of my league, I wouldn't have a real comment to offer about the matter, so I'll probably choose to stay quiet.

2) The blogger doesn't reply to comments. Now, I'm aware that not everyone has got the time to acknowledge every single comment they receive...and they might pay you back a visit instead...but this is a BIG turn-off for me, and I rarely speak my mind on a post if I'm not likely to get a reply, albeit short. It makes me feel like that person doesn't really care about my input, or the fact that I've spent a few minutes reading their post. Rationally, I understand that it might not be the case, but I don't feel welcome enough to spend another few minutes of my time commenting (yes, minutes...I tend to write long-ish comments, plus I check my writing more than once, what with English being an acquired language for me...).

3) The post is a meme, or a certain type of meme. Sorry, it's just...I mean, I do try a meme now and then, and I may even enjoy some of them (such as Tell Me Something Tuesday). But long lists of most anticipated books that I probably won't read because I'm weird don't pique my interest (now, if you give me REVIEWS of them...). Also, I wouldn't know what to say...

4) The post has already gone beyond recognition. This is weird, I'm totally aware of that - but even when I read an interesting post (and its author does reply to comments, yay!), if it's already got a zillion comments, I chicken out. I sort of think, OK, you don't need me - maybe I should spend my time giving a boost to some small, neglected blog...like mine LOL.

5) The post is old-ish. I have a strong feeling that its author won't even notice/acknowledge my belated comment...so I don't even try.

(I know, N°4 and 5 are stupid reasons. I should change my attitude (I'm trying!). Or maybe I need a schedule for commenting on blogs, too πŸ˜‚. The fact is, I have time-management issues - but then again, don't we all? Maybe mine are heavier than someone else's, but in the long run, we all struggle to blog, have a steady social media presence AND comment...).

***
    It's your turn now...what prompts you to comment/prevents you from commenting on a blog? How do you manage to comment at all even when you're pressed for time? Do you reply to each and every comment, included those on your old posts?

    32 comments:

    1. I manage to have 1/2 or so (sometimes longer) in the morning and again at night so I tend to do my commenting then. I go through my bookmarked list and then I have a twitter app running on the side of my computer screen so if I see something interesting pop up - I'll comment on that too and hopefully discover a new blog.

      I do try to reply to every comment. Even on older posts. I know how much effort it takes to visit and comment on blogs so I try to acknowledge everyone who takes a moment to stop by. I don't answer comments on giveaway posts though.

      I know some bloggers only like *meaningful* comments and I do get it but I think we're all struggling for time and are visiting dozens of blogs per day so I try to be as open and welcoming as possible. I think a lot of people stay away from commenting when they see bloggers talking like that too - afraid that their comments aren't worthy. A little encouragement goes a long way imo.

      Now for a thing that annoys me (& that I see a lot) is bloggers complaining on SM about not getting comments, page views and when you visit them they don't visit you back or respond to your comments. Maybe my blog isn't for you and that's ok. I don't require a follow for follow or an answer to every comment - I visit a blog because I like it or the blogger - but don't go fishing for comments & then not reciprocate. *harumph* lol

      Karen @ For What It's Worth

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      1. Quote:
        "I don't require a follow for follow or an answer to every comment - I visit a blog because I like it or the blogger - but don't go fishing for comments & then not reciprocate. *harumph* lol".
        Haha, absolutely. Sometimes it takes a while to comment back because of time commitments, or one may not know what to say on your latest post when they come visit back, but there are ways around that. For example, when I don't have a comment for the latest post on a blog, I bookmark it for future reference, and maybe one week or two later they write a post I can relate to and comment on.

        As for the "meaningful comments" thing...are we SNOB, for goodness sake? I mean, there IS a difference between the classic "comment for the sake of it" and a short, simple, but heartfelt one.

        I noticed you weren't replying to giveaway comments, and it does make sense (plus it's sort of self-explanatory). Especially if one gets a lot of comments, which you do.

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      2. I probably could reply to giveaway comments these days. It's not too bad. Back a few years ago though there were 200-400 entries and gah!!! I can't keep up with that! lol

        But I figure the "entry" is to say what book you want so it's not a conversational type comment. Then there are a few I would like to comment back on but then I wouldn't' be answering everyone and CHAOS! lol

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      3. 200-400 entries?!?! What a golden age for blogging it must have been. To think I only missed it by a couple of years or three LOL. Then again, you are you...and givvies are givvies!

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    2. SHE WROTE A POST SHE WROTE A POST SHE WROTE A POST.

      I am on a ROLLLLL today.

      I still suck at commenting though. And since I have unlimited phone data, if your blog is NOT nice to my phone, I'll be running away in a heartbeat, regardless of whether you've commented on my blog or not.

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      1. You're CRUEL! LOL.

        I must admit I don't go out of my way in order to make my blog phone-friendly...though I suppose it's not that bad, if you still visit and comment πŸ˜‰. It's the result of me not having a cell plus being afraid to mess with my HTML. I should take a little time out in order to figure out a more phone-friendly design. But at least I don't have CAPTCHA πŸ˜‚.

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    3. I have similar feelings about commenting on a post that already has over a hundred notes and waiting until I have something meaningful to say, although sometimes I can't help myself if it's a book I really love. Tumblr seems to make it a little easier to leave comments, but only if you have a Tumblr. (Yours is the only blog I follow outside of Tumblr and Goodreads. What a lazy blogger I am.)

      I do try to make sure I answer every comment, even if it takes me a few days (longer to answer tag memes, but I try to get to all of them). Someone went out of their way to talk to me about a book; the least I can do is answer them!

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      1. Quote:
        "Yours is the only blog I follow outside of Tumblr and Goodreads."
        Awww. I feel a little bit special now! 😊 Thank you, you're one of the few people who keep me going 😘.
        And you're not a lazy blogger. You're a pretty active and thoughtful reviewer, which takes its toll...

        Quote:
        "Someone went out of their way to talk to me about a book; the least I can do is answer them!"
        That's a lovely attitude - I wish everyone in the community were the same...though I have to say that the people I know (at least) do their best, even when their lives are hectic. It's a lot more difficult to get comments in the first place than to have ours replied to. At least for me...I wish I knew what it takes LOL.

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    4. You're a lot special! Reviewing everything I read does take a toll. Sometimes I spend all my blogging energy there, and there's none left for actual conversation. xD

      The blogs I get to know do their best to reply too. I tend not to follow them for long if they don't. I don't like following blogs who don't interact or make an effort to get to know me back. It's give and take like any relationship, at least for me. LOL. I honestly don't know. It seems we each have a few people who are dedicated to commenting/staying in touch, and that's a pretty solid number! I'm okay with that. I'd rather have a close few than big numbers who don't talk to me. It's less good for getting the word out about amazing but unpopular books though .-.

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      1. You're special too! and I mean it. Both because you establish meaningful relationships with other bloggers/readers (and support them!) and because you manage to review all your books to such depth.

        Quote:
        "I'd rather have a close few than big numbers who don't talk to me. It's less good for getting the word out about amazing but unpopular books though."
        That's the main point, though I would lie if I said that I'm not interested in having a big-gish trail of followers/commenters just for the sake of my ego. Each and every one of us wants to be heard, or we wouldn't start a blog. Then again, in my case, wanting to spread the word about less known books was the main reason behind it, and if you aren't able to build a big follower base, you're bound to accomplish very little. I should have started younger - it takes a lot of time and energy to keep up now LOL. But I'm grateful for my handful of friends, especially when they go out of their way in order to comment because they're not on Blogger...😘

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    5. THIS IS SUCH A BRILLIANT POST, and I love the title too! I think you've pretty much covered all my feelings about commenting or not when it comes to blogs, and you'd be surprised to know that number 4 and 5 from your list of turn offs is something I can relate to as well! I chicken out too, especially when it's a "big" blog and idk, I have inferiority issues, I guess?..... :D I also end up feeling bummed when someone doesn't comment back because, well, I'm crammed for time as it is, so when I make time for others I only feel its reasonable if they comment back too xD This isn't always the case, but I do feel this way most of the time ahahaha. AND ALSO, I've noticed you doing number 5 in your first list and IT'S SO NICE OF YOU. God knows I've done enough hiatus-related posts, and you've always been there to encourage me and I'm so thankful! <33 Brilliant post, as always, Roby! You definitely should spend more time thinking ;)

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      1. Haha, I'll try! 😜

        As for my N°4 and 5 turn-offs, I'm glad I'm not alone - I thought I was being weird πŸ˜‰. But maybe we should give this thing a chance. Stop feeling "less" than anybody else! Reach out to them. Maybe we'll end up being pleasantly surprised...

        Quote:
        "THIS IS SUCH A BRILLIANT POST, and I love the title too!"
        You made my day girl 😊.

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      2. True that! I'm making an effort to comment on posts even when I feel intimidated and all and yeah... I'll keep trying! We all should! :))

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      3. Team Fearless Commenters! πŸ˜‰

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    6. I try to respond to any comment left on my blog, even the older posts, because they all matter! I love hearing what others think about a book, even if they disagree. I live for the discussions! That's why I ask people to check the "notify me" box at the bottom, because then they'll know when I respond to their response.

      I also follow quite a few blogs, so I try to comment on those a few times each week. It doesn't always happen because, you know, life. I do try though!

      I agree with Karen, too. You shouldn't comment on someone's blog because you expect something in return. This is such a loving and giving community, and people really do try their best. Not everyone is an avid commenter, but they may have amazing posts--which is what I'm there for! I love discovering new books and talking about them.

      Lovely discussion post!

      Do You Dog-ear?

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      1. Replying to each and every post and finding the time to visit blogs regularly is such a daunting task when one has a lot of followers/follows a lot of blogs. Sometimes it's not easy to find the time even when you have only a few...especially if you want to leave a meaningful comment. As you said - life! Also, when you reply to a comment on your own blog, you never know if the commenter is going to come back to read your reply...then again, I'm one of those bloggers who makes a point about responding, even if it's just to say "thank you" (which rarely is LOL. I'm such a talker).

        In my experience, discussion about books are rare...funny, isn't it? People may say something along the lines of - oh, I loved it too, I hated it too, you're right about this, I didn't noticed that - but it's not like the book actually gets DISCUSSED in comments. It's a pity (though it might end up in spoilers for those who haven't read it if it happened!). Kristen @ Metaphors and Moonlight wrote an excellent post about this:
        http://blog.kristenburns.com/how-much-do-we-really-discuss-specific-books/

        I don't necessarily expect someone to comment back when I do, especially if my latest post(s) are about some obscure books they haven't read LOL - or out of the genre(s) they usually read. (I'm guilty too). Especially if they get a lot of comments. But I end up throwing my towel if they NEVER EVER do that. It's not a comment-for-a-comment thing, and you don't have to follow me back or anything, but if you NEVER make an effort to connect, it ends up feeling rude. I take enough shit in real life as it is LOL.

        And, last but not least...thank you! Also, I see you have a post about DFN books that I do mean to read (and comment on) as soon as I have a moment!

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    7. It's definitely daunting! I try to visit everyone at least once a week. That seems more manageable than trying to squeeze everyone in every day. I have three kiddos, so my time is limited, lol.

      I think I remember Kristen's post! We always talk about loving to discuss books, but it doesn't happen too often. Especially not in comments. People are busy and usually stop by once, and it's rare for them to come back to the same post and continue a conversation. We just don't have the time. I think it could be done without spoilers, too. ;)

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      1. I think I should follow your example. I work in the afternoons, Monday to Friday...sometimes I manage to comment/tweet from work, but tweeting is definitely more manageable, since you have to keep it short. The mornings are gone in a whiff, and the evenings...too. Also, I try to read/blog a little in the evenings, or to organise/schedule my stuff...and oh, there's a home to tend to πŸ™„.

        LOL, you're right. Conversations about books will probably never happen, if not in a buddy read.

        I really appreciate your coming back, especially with your 3 kiddos!

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    8. You know, I've noticed that too. Sometimes I see blogs that get ARCs I could never dream of getting, they have thousands of followers, and yet their posts have no comments. It does make me wonder.

      Your #1 turn on is my same biggest reason for commenting. And it also relates to the not commenting back turn off. I like to frequently visit and comment on the blogs of those bloggers who comment back because we've built up a friendship. They're the ones I get to know, in a way, and we interact a lot, and I like that, even if they have diff taste in books than I do. But I also try to find new bloggers and comment on posts that I find interesting even if Idk the blogger yet. I don't mind if the blogger doesn't reply on their own blog as long as they visit mine. I understand some people don't have time for both and would rather return the favor.

      I don't think #4 and 5 turn offs are stupid. I also get intimidated and shy away from the posts w/ a zillion comments already, even if the person has responded to all of them. And I've had ppl ignore my comments on old posts before :-/ Which I don't really understand cuz all my comments show up in the same spot regardless of post date, and I respond to all of them, but the times I was ignored have made me wary.

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      1. Quote:
        "They're the ones I get to know, in a way, and we interact a lot, and I like that, even if they have diff taste in books than I do."
        True! Most of the bloggers I exchange comments with regularly read different books from mine, and we aren't necessarily alike personality-wise either...but we stroke up a friendship. I realised that, in the long run, the more friends you have, the more comments you get.

        That thing about old posts is kind of weird...can you believe that I tend to get more excited if someone comments on one of my old posts as opposed to the latest one? Old posts need love too! And maybe the person who commented will never come back to read my reply, but I'm too grateful not to respond...

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    9. I just want to say I LOVE this post and pretty much agree with it all. The most discouraging thing to me is to leave comment after comment on a blog that I truly enjoy reading only to be met with crickets and zero return visits. I realize we're all busy but it makes me feel unworthy and after a bit of it I will stop visiting or at least commenting. I'm glad I found you through one of Chuckles' posts today, great topic!

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      1. First off, thank you for stopping by, and nice to meet you! since I don't think I've ever visited your blog before, even with a different look (or I would at least recognise the name LOL).

        I can totally relate to the feeling of unworthiness...of course, it's not like one expects a comment back every single time they visit a blog - there's the time issue, and sometimes one doesn't have anything special to add to the conversations on the visitor's blog. Leaving a comment for the sake of it is even worse than not commenting at all, at least IMO. But NEVER EVER visiting/commenting? That's just plain rude.

        I'm glad you found me too, but...who's Chuckle?

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      2. Chuckles had a link to this post on one of her round up posts! She's a super prolific blogger of horror/apocalypse/zombie thrillers.

        http://chucklesbookcave.blogspot.com/

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      3. Wow, super prolific indeed. She manages to write two posts a day...I maybe do one every two weeks LOL (well, more like one a week lately, but don't hold your breath πŸ˜‰). I wanted to thank her, but I can't seem to find my link in her posts (also, I didn't even know about her blog before you pointed it out to me, so I was wondering how she knew about mine). Could it be that you found me via the link Karen @ For What It's Worth posted on her blog?

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    10. THIS POST IS AMAZING, and, yes, I relate to so many things in it! Something that turns me off of reviews - even if it's a book I'm interested in - is when people write these tiny reviews that contain NO useful info whatsoever. I mean, I looove mini reviews!! They can be read so fast, and they can contain everything I need to know about a book. BUT when a review - that is not even "sold" to me as a mini review in many cases - only says stuff like "good plot", "interesting characters", and then nothing of importance or detail... boi, IDK what to comment. I def think it's great to comment on old-ish posts, though! It can be such a boost when you see someone appreciating a post you wrote a good while ago, especially if it didn't receive that much love to begin with. But yeah, commenting on bloggers' posts that already have many comments? Super-intimidating. And commenting when someone is not answering comments seems like a total one-sided conversation, so that's another thing I don't do.

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      1. LOL, you have a point about vague (mini)reviews. Of course we don't want to spoil anything for anyone, but it's difficult (to say the least) to know what to make of them, let alone how to comment. I hope mine are NOT so vague 😳 (*second-guesses mini-reviews*).

        Quote:
        "It can be such a boost when you see someone appreciating a post you wrote a good while ago, especially if it didn't receive that much love to begin with."
        ABSOLUTELY. I don't understand why not everyone seems to feel this way - sometimes I happen to read an old post and there are no replies to comments afters a certain date, as if the post's author didn't care for them. Maybe they're just pressed for time, I don't know - but personally, I can't resist saying THANK YOU to someone who gave love to one of my old posts πŸ˜ƒ. Glad I'm not alone! Just like in my shyness about commenting on an already popular post. (Though I'm trying to get better at it, because bloggers don't bite! Do we? 😜).

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      2. Oh no!! I didn't mean yours at all. You give important info in yours, and, in my experience, people who write mini reviews generally manage that. I mean, if someone goes to the trouble of including various books in a post they usually put effort into said post. I mostly meant posts that are not even "marketed" as mini reviews. I follow some bloggers who sometimes seem to not put any effort into writing their reviews, and end up giving these totally useless critics.

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      3. I know the kind of posts you're talking about. Whether you're excited about a book or you hated it, I want to know "why"...not that you stayed up all night in order to finish it, or you smashed your ereader onto the nearest wall πŸ™„πŸ˜‚.

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    11. I try to always comment on my friends' blogs no matter what they're posting about. It's just the way I am, even if I'm not interested in it, like my friends who's WAY into kpop and kdramas. I like that stuff a little bit, but not to the extent my friend does, but I still always comment on her posts because she's my friend.

      I also comment on people's blogs if they comment back on mine or if they comment on mine first. I love sharing the love. That's what gets me to comment in the first place is the camaraderie I feel with other bloggers.

      I comment on discussion posts that interest me like this one. My friend directed me here form her blog and I thought this was an interesting topic so I wanted to join in. :)

      I comment on Top Ten Tuesday posts because it's the one meme I participate in. I'm with you, though. Normally, I avoid memes like the plague.

      Yeah, there you go. :D

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      1. You're better than me at commenting then! I try to be there for my friends, but if something they're talking about is not my thing, I wait for another post of them I can relate to LOL.

        Quote:
        "what gets me to comment in the first place is the camaraderie I feel with other bloggers."
        The more I blog, the more I realise that - as you said - it's all about the friends you make...they're the ones who'll always (or more often than not) comment on your posts. Even when they're pressed for time, they'll pop up in your comment section sooner or later. Most of the commenters on here, too, are saying that their first reason for speaking their mind on a post is them being friends with the blogger. And of course, discussion posts seem to be a close second - who doesn't love a discussion post? πŸ˜‰

        I suppose the friend you're talking about is Karen? She was so kind as to link to this post. She's always spreading the love πŸ˜ƒ - such a helpful and friendly person.

        Haha, poor memes. I believe most of us have a love/hate relationship with them. I tend to favour the ones where there's a prompt that will make you talk, as opposed to making lists. Of course, TTT is about giving your books some love AND a spotlight, which is always good.

        Thank you for visiting (and nice to meet you of course!). I've already had a look at your blog, and you'll hear from me soon!

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    12. Unfortunately, my commenting habits are a little bit biased. I am extremely more likely to comment on discussion posts or lists than reviews. I still read and enjoy a lot of reviews, I just find it harder to find something to say especially if I have not read the book. In addition, I am also a lot more likely to comment when I know the blogger or have had positive interactions with them in the past. This is definitely not fair to smaller and newer bloggers, but at least I am being honest.

      I also find it really helpful when bloggers have insightful and provocative questions at the end of the post (like you did on this post). When I am struggling to find something to add to the conversation, these questions often give me a direction to start on and I end up with better comments in the end. Other than that, I don't really have a criteria for commenting. I am more likely to comment on interesting and unique posts, but I also love commenting on memes even though a lot of them are the same.

      Personally, I don't really mind when someone doesn't reply to my comment or comment back. I always appreciate it when someone takes the time to do this, but I also understand how time consuming and overwhelming it can be. I try my best to reply to comments and comment back, but it doesn't always happen, and I don't have nearly as many comments as other blogs! So, in order to avoid being a hypocrite, I can forgive people for not replying to comments.

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      1. Ditto about (rarely) commenting on reviews and mostly doing that when you're friends with the blogger...that's probably why newer bloggers would benefit from a spotlight of sorts...like Sophia Lin has done for a while with Novel Newcomers. Then again, most of us are guilty of not really taking the time to go and greet them (...time? what's time? ask the Doctor LOL).

        Ha! the questions! You're right - and I think we more experienced bloggers have mastered the art by now, sometimes even unconsciously. I noticed the witty, often amusing questions at the end of your posts, too. Though, prior to your comment here, I didn't realise questions could not only entice the conversation, but also be so helpful when one doesn't know where to start with their comment.

        Commenting back is not easy, especially when one makes a point of writing a thoughtful comment (as you always do). And I understand it can't always be done. But I suspect we are more likely to cut a lot of slack when we know the blogger and her/his plights. For example, I know you're very busy with college and everything, so I don't expect you to comment as often as someone else. I KNOW it's not my post's fault if you don't add anything to the conversation. I don't necessarily comment on every post I read either, for the reasons stated above. But if a new visitor stops by, I make a point to return the favour as soon as I can, because I want them to know how much I appreciated their effort and/or their interest in what I had to say. Though if we end up becoming friends, it's not like we compute the number of comments we write on each other's posts of course! Commenting (back) is not a job after all - same as blogging isn't πŸ˜‰.

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