October 14, 2015

...In Which I'm #SorryNotSorry, Because I'm #HumanSoHuman

Here I go again.
Making excuses.
Only...not really.
Since this blog thing started, I've always refused to cave in to the popular belief that one has to post once a day...or once every two days...or on given week days...or whatever. I didn't even know such popular beliefs existed back when I started, but - in typical Roberta's fashion - I've always refused to adhere to those rules since when I became aware of them. Heck, I've spent my whole life avoiding trends, questioning things, doing my best in order to be my own person - you can't expect me to bend to someone else's rules when I'm doing something for my own pleasure. Because it doesn't matter how much you love books and the community and you mean to do a service to them - a blog is, first and foremost, your personal space, shaped around yourself. You may only hope you'll meet equal-minded people along the way, but this doesn't mean you have to purposefully market yourself.


Now, maybe because I started off so old - comparing to the average blogger age - but more likely because (like I said) I've always rebelled against stuff that was imposed on me, I skipped the whole classic "I have to work my blogging ass off" phase. Sure, there have been moments of self-imposed activity, where I've tried to be more productive...but I've always refused to "work" at blogging. I've never frantically posted just in order to stay abreast of things. And mind you, I'm not saying this is intrinsically wrong. If you can find something to say - and enough time to say it - you're a champion and I bow to you. What I really mean is, it's not required to be a blogging superhero. And

BLOGGING WORK


On the other hand.
I have to admit I hate these long silent pauses in between posts. They make me a little nervous. It's not like someone is waiting for me to say something. But I feel like I should try a little harder if I want to be taken seriously as a blogger, both by readers and authors/publishers. In my world, a post per week would be the perfect compromise between productivity (eventually coupled with a modest success) and my need for a slow pace. The thing is, I didn't even managed to get close to that this year. As of now, this is my 35th post of 2015, and it's mid-October already. And I'm afraid things are bound to get worse.
Here's a list of my problems...

  1. I'm an adult, with a job and an awful lot of stuff to get done every day, plus a complicated situation at home; not to mention, one's energy is not at its pick around fifty O_O.
  2. Like I said, I have a job. I've always been able to blog from there too, but come next week, I will always work the afternoon shift (as opposed to my usual PM/AM alternate routine), which means more supervision, a slightly different schedule (with a bit more work to do) and consequently, less stealth time. Also, I'm a sleep-eater. I HATE to wake up early. And you know, mornings are short if you don't. So, now that I don't have to say hello to the morning birds for job reasons anymore, it's not like I'll have time to spare in the AM slot for blogging purposes. I used to blog largely during the days when I had a free afternoon and my husband did the 14-22 shift, so that I had more quiet and ease (also because we share the PC). But my new timetable only leaves the weekends out (plus a few scraps of time here and there at work and at home), and of course, there's more to life than blogging. So, well, I don't know. I might be even less productive than I've been so far. I'll have to figure things out.
  3. You might know by now that I have to rely mostly on physical books for review purposes - and it's not like I have a huge budget to spend on them. To be honest, I hardly have one anymore. Of course, ebooks would be the perfect solution to my problem...if I had a credit card. One can't buy ebooks without a credit card, can one?

So yeah. My blogging life in a nutshell.

I'm not writing this in order to attract sympathy. And I'm not whining. These are first world problems, like my friend Karen would say ;). I'm just trying to explain why I'm not around so much, and might even be less around from now on. But my dears (*cue Freddie Mercury's voice*), you're not getting rid of me so easily... ;P

8 comments:

  1. Aww, Roberta! I'm so so glad you decided to write this post because now I totally understand your side of things and how you feel. I agree with you when you say blogging should never become a chore- how true! At times we feel compelled to post something just because we feel we HAVE to- and that's not good, not at all. It's different, of course, when you blog for rather commercial purposes (did I put it right? I'm sure you get what I mean anyway). We DO have lives of our own- so our readers better know that is all I say :D

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    1. I feel so understood right now :) {hugs Ruzi}
      Yes, it happens to the best of us - not only ex-teenagers like me ;). We don't always have the time and energy we need in order to post. On the other hand, we should only post when we feel like! We don't have to feel compelled to do something we love. Ugh!

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  2. Yep I agree blogging should never be a chore. For me, it's quite different because it's not a chore because I love to do it and love when I just get to sit down and write a post but oh my god I just don't have as much time as I used to have when I wasn't in high school cramming my head in the books. I know some people have it worse than me because they have college or jobs but right now, I'm feeling the weight on myself. I totally admire this post and it's kind of given me ideas on how to manage all of this! I hope I post more though :D

    Alex @ The Book's Buzz

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    1. So glad my post sort of inspired you...now I'm curious about the ideas it gave you! Maybe I could use them myself LOL. Thanks for stopping by!

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  3. I've seen so many people struggle with blogging over the years - at all stages of life. In college there's studying and exams, or getting married/having kids, or work or just general lack of motivation.

    Some of us find our way through and others of us drop off. Both valid choices!

    I SO wish that we didn't feel guilty about any of it though. (I'm a victim too!). In my early days of blogging there were zero *rules* and we just had fun with it.

    I think these days you're in the majority though. Every time I post about feeling overwhelmed or struggling about whether I should continue almost EVERYONE relates.

    And how dare work not let you blog!!!! Priority's people!!!! lol

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    1. It seems to me the the younger bloggers are more active, despite their having issues too (only different from ours). But I suppose it's the enthusiasm and strenght of youth that make a difference ;). Anyway, I'm glad I'm not alone. I hope blogging can go back to those happy early days!

      Haha, I'll do my best to blog stealthily from work, too.

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  4. I totally understand what you are saying! As you know, I have been going through something similar.
    I really liked what you said about hating the space in between posts. That is one of my biggest pet peeves about blogging. I will publish a post, but then feel like I have to start working on another one right away so that there is not that awkward time. But, as you have begun to teach me, blogging is not a chore, a job, or a business, at least for me. I live reading and writing, so I blog. I do not blog for free books (although those are nice) or to get the most followers. I blog so that I can have amazing conversations about Supernatural with equally amazing bloggers. I blog so that I can express myself. I blog so that I can keep my sanity, not so that I lose it.
    I really hope that you can find time to fit blogging into your schedule since I love your posts so much, but I completely understand if you cannot. I will always be waiting in anticipation for your next post, email, or tweet, but there is no pressure if you do not have time.
    Good luck at work!

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    1. Haha, your line about Supernatural had me laughing out loud.
      And I loved it when you said that you blog so that you can keep your sanity, not so that you lose it. You should make a banner or something out of it and have it copyrighted - then sell t-shirts online with that saying!
      Don't worry, I'll haunt the net for a very long time. So maybe Sam and Dean will come have a look at me...and decide not to vanquish my little blogging self :D.

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