Offbeat Offline: August-September 2021

Welcome to Offbeat Offline, where I bring you up-to-date with what went on in my life during the month just gone, give you a sneak peek of my next shenanigans, and share my favourite posts of late!

For this first installment, I'm going to recap both my September and my August, because STUFF HAPPENED (mind you, when STUFF HAPPENS to me, is generally BAD/ANNOYING STUFF™). Sorry in advance for the long post...especially the hair part. Unfortunately, it couldn't be explained in less words (I'm writing this premise after completing my post). I promise it's a one-timer...

📚 READER'S PERMIT. At the end of August, I realised there was no way for me to be able to write long reviews for each and every book (though I read very selected few compared to most people). So I basically decided to write only mini reviews for books under 3 stars, novellas, short stories and anthologies (with some caveats - see this post). Since then I've read a few Seanan McGuire novellas without obligations (I've posted their minis on Goodreads for now - they'll be grouped into a Review Morsels post on the blog later) and crossed a few old books from my to-be-reviewed-in-full list. More reading, less stress. It's been glorious.

In the meantime, I've been given access to/sent an ecopy of a YA thriller (Seven Dirty Secrets by Natalie D. Richards), a genre-crossing adult collection (Unexpected Places to Fall From, Unexpected Places to Land by Malcolm Devlin) and an adult urban fantasy (Swashbucklers by Dan Hanks). For those, I cancelled my usual Back to Black - Beating the Halloween Backlist series this year...but at least they fit the mood LOL. Reviews to come this month.

😱 TU QUOQUE BLOGGER? After my Twitter debacle, I thought I'd earned a little quiet time - but no way. On August 3rd, I got an email from Blogger saying that my blog had been removed for phishing, and I was supposed to appeal to try and get it back. I just about had a heart attack, because of course, you can still be a blogger without Twitter, but you, um, need an actual blog. Plus I couldn't access my own content to do a backup (though I had an old one, and my most recent posts could have been retrieved from my own archive - but I'd have had to build a new blog from scratch!!! after almost 9 years!!!). Luckily, it turned out to be a false positive created by automated spam detection (???), and I got my blog back in a few hours. Whatever - I was scared out of my wits, and DID I DESERVE THAT, ON TOP OF EVERYTHING??? 😭 🤬

💇‍♀️ HAIRY SITUATIONS. OK, a bit of backstory here - sorry in advance for my being lengthy. I've been perming my hair once a year since 1983 (like my avatar, but much curlier), under two hairdressers (the latter had been the former's apprentice), and I've always had a GORGEOUS afro. I used to perm my hair in May, then trim the top in September to minimise the flat effect due to 4 cm (1,5 inches) of straight hair regrowth surrounded by the curls that were originally on top. So my hairdressers would layer-cut my curly ends a little, starting at the top, to give my haircut the right shape and volume again for a while more - but I'd still retain about an inch of curly ends on top (scaling up to a couple of inches or more on the longer hair). Then I'd let my hair grow until it was time to perm it again the following year (except for the bangs, that I'd get touched upon mid-year). So, come May again, I'd find myself with 5 inches of straight regrowth, but my hair would look nice nevertheless. Then I'd go in for a new perm, the old ends would get cut, and everything would start anew.

Now, I've been perming my hair at another place for 5 years (after my old hairdressers both retired), and they use the right curlers (and the right amount of them), but other than that, it's a recurring nightmare. EVERY TIME I get a perm, a few locks don't take AT ALL (or they do, but very blandly) and need to be redone immediately. Also, this year, after only 3 months, I looked like I had 2-2,5 inches of straight regrowth. Instead of fixing the haircut as usual (see above), I had to perm the top and bangs again (unprecedented!), because if I had trimmed their very ends - which was badly needed, because the top of my head looked flat - I would have been left with only straight/semi-straight hair in that area. Then the hairdresser proceeded onto BARELY trimming the side hair to finish the cut, and I was left with a number of semi-straight locks in that area too, so I had to re-perm the sides as well!!! And it's not like my hairdresser noticed - I had to point it out to her and ask for a touch-up...

Now, aside from the time, money and stomach-aches involved, the thing that makes me feel like screaming the most is, my hairdresser is either trying to convince me that 1) the "straight hair" I see isn't really straight (see above) or 2) the reason why the roots and even the middle portion don't get curly anymore is that I have longer hair now than when I first came to her salon (so, is it one or the other?). Sorry, but I call bullshit. As of now (5 months after getting the original perm), my hair are barely past my nape, so you can do the math. And even if it had been longer when I went in for the May perm, I might have gotten slightly looser curls at the roots, as opposed to NO CURLS. Also, the VERY SHORT locks of my bangs and top were in the same state as the longer hair before I got them re-permed last month, as in, only curled at the very end (and one month after the new perm, they already look like it happened 3 months ago instead).

What I think is, there's a problem with the primer application to begin with (with close to a hundred curlers, you should be extra careful to have it reaching every single lock by massaging it into the hair...not simply drop it around in spades and hope it goes where it should), plus the curlers should be tightened at the roots...both things that my old hairdressers did and this one doesn't. Also, it might be that the primer she uses isn't strong enough for the kind of perm I want (yep, I have coloured hair too, so she uses a type 2, which is the recommended article - but I'm positive my old hairdressers used a different brand/type, and I was colouring my hair already back then). I tried to steer her in the right direction, but of course, no one wants to get told how to do their job. I could try to find a new hairdresser, but...I'm afraid things might get worse. Not to mention, the modern salons hardly do afros, that I know of. It's not easy to find someone who can do this type of perm and is WILLING to. And this isn't a simple hairdo for me - it's the physical embodiment of what I am inside. I'm not going to change it. It would be like cutting off a part of me or getting a new face/body. One day I'll have to find someone else to do my hair anyway, because this person is ten years my elder and inching close to retirement...but for now, I'm staying. I'm not good with change...

😫 OLD BONES. The summer was the pits for me, especially August...and even a good part of September. My legs hurt, and some nights I had to do a "funny" dance in my bed before I got asleep. The heat wasn't my friend - nor it was the hubs' - when it came to cooking/eating warm food either. We've been living on cold cuts, stuffed tomatoes, simple pan-seared food (like hamburgers or eggs), even fruit + ice cream. Haute cuisine, you know. Thank goodness it's over.

At the end of August, I woke up to a trigger finger in my left thumb (for the record, I'm not even left-handed). Basically, I can't bend it, or pain occurs and it snaps back. I am now listed for surgery, which should happen within the month. It's a small thing really (or it should be), and at least my dominant hand is still working, but...again, couldn't I be spared for once???

The only good pieces of news are, my latest blood-work turned out better than the previous one, and my thrombosis is slowly healing (I'm still under blood-thinners for now).

🏠 DOOR TO HELL. Remember my new front door, the one that took forever to get installed? I didn't like the way they had applied one of the jambs, so they sent someone to dismantle it, strip off the silicone, glue it back and do a better finishing - but go figure, the jamb broke. They said it would take two weeks to get a replacement, but it took TWO DARNED MONTHS and multiple phone calls. And now we're still waiting for them to get us new handles for all our doors...because the bathroom one is damaged, but that handle model has been discontinued, so in order to change ONE handle we have to buy SEVEN of them (five for the actual rooms, one for replacement, and a matching one for the front door, which came with a standard one) 🤬.

🚗 WE'RE CALLING HER "CHRISTINE". Remember the Stephen King book about a possessed car? I swear, each and every one of ours is cut from the same cloth. What happened this time? My husband drives a car with an automatic clutch, for disability reasons, and the nearest repair shop that takes care of vehicles for persons with reduced mobility is 44 miles away. The automatic clutch is made from 3 different units. One day it started going "beep beep" when he set the car in motion (not every time, but often)...basically, it was failing to make proper contact...so he got it checked, but nothing came of it. The shop procured a second-hand dashboard control unit and tried it (which meant a second 88 miles trip), but the problem stayed. So they procured a different second-hand control unit (this one goes under the passenger's front seat), and my husband traveled 88 miles again to have it installed. Luckily, this one seems to be working. But the trips and the money 😭.

PUBLISHING NEWS/TIPS

• The brilliant puppet fantasy book by Josh Winning that I beta-read last year is slated for publication next March! Have a closer look at The Shadow Glass' cover and read an excerpt.
• For those of you who hope to get published one day (or to work in the field in some capacity), Michael James (author of The Hotel series) shares an interview with his editor about a book's path to publication. Lots of tips here!
• Again, if you're dreaming of becoming a published author, you might find these book-formatting tools and tips useful.

THINK-PIECES, DISCUSSIONS, ORIGINAL FICTION

• Cee Arr reminds us that "the world is on fire", and we can do something about it (though the very wealthy should be the first ones to change their course of action).
• Louise looks back to some books from her childhood, and go figure, there's problematic stuff in them that wouldn't fly today.
• Lissa shares a short, bittersweet story that leaves it to your imagination to fill in the blanks.

REVIEWS/RECOMMENDATIONS

• Emily reviews Pet by Akwaeke Emezi, calling it (among other things) "perfect for young adults and adults alike who want to be immersed in a diverse world of characters who just want to keep the peace".
• Lissa shares 8 books "guaranteed to put a frown on your face" (which just means they're sort of sad, but in a nice way - they're even some of her favourite!).

That's it for now! Again, sorry for the long post, but it was two months' worth of stuff, plus a lot of hair rambling (which won't happen again...I can always redirect you to this post in the future LOL).

So, what were your highs/lows in the past month?